Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
