When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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