I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
