Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
