last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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