I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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