you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
