I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
