i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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