I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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