I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
