im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
