just come out here and I will go home with you...
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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