You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
