I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
