I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
