I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
