His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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