and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
