She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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