How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
