I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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