I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
