I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
