i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
