i love accidental penises.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
