dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
