it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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