Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
