Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
