Pappa wants mamma naked
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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