I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
