She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
