I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
