Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
