im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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