i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
PANTIES FOUND
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