Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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