Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
