well I can't set my house on fire every night
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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