Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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