I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
