I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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