Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
