with your own penis?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
