Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You are the jesus of drinking
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
