I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
