"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I need a beard to bite.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
