the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
