he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
